Letting go of stuff, environments and people that no longer serve you can be a difficult thing to do. Seriously hard. Not because you are hung up on the person or situation but the thought of “what next?”. The questions and reality of having to ‘deal’ with the absence of what you maybe once loved, gave energy to, was once fulfilling and somewhat a comfort. This is where most get stuck in my opinion. Self-doubt seeps in with anxiety’s claws clasping onto you, wanting to pull you back into what you're trying to let go of. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing and the comfort of certainty whether positive or negative, knowing exactly what to expect can keep you hostage in situations you no longer belong.
What I’ve realized in my short-long life is that it takes practice. You have to make a conscious decision rid yourself of anything or anyone that no longer serves you; toxic things, people, spaces, habits (not making light of addiction). We hold on to feelings of regret, guilt, loss, betrayal and a love that kills. Change is not easy, it takes practice and sometimes a few false starts. The fear of the aftermath can keep us prisoner to some questionable decisions. We stay stuck in situations that end up draining and in some cases killing us. Wrapped up in “abantu bazothini?”, (what will people say?). The need to be in control also plays a huge part in holding on. We have even come up with phrases such as “better the devil you know”. That somewhat you know what to expect and that gives you a level of control over the situation, person or yourself. What kind of mess is this? We order the same food at the same restaurant each time we go there all in the spirit of familiarity, how boring. Some of us even believe and preach 'holding on' as a signifier of strength and never flip the idea on its head, that wait a minute, there is power in letting go and moving on. We hold ourselves back and rob ourselves of a full life we could have been living, all because we cannot move on. We carry with us all our past failures, hardships and even past successes that do not springboard us. I stumbled on this quote by Najwa Zebian, "These mountains you carry, you were supposed to climb"
We need to consciously train ourselves to let go. Letting go of even the things that we love but are certainly not good for us. Letting go of ideas and teachings that 'society' live by, but are limiting and do not serve us well. Self-awareness is important. Not many of us spend time getting to truly know and understand ourselves. Getting our priorities in order, having clarity on deal breakers and setting boundaries up front. Identifying our “non-negotiables” and most importantly immerse ourselves in what we truly love and enjoy. Leaving little room for the things that drain us. I know this is an oversimplification, that people and life are much more complicated. However, there are complications we choose to submerge ourselves and bask in knowingly.
Letting go of stuff, environments and people that no longer serve you can be a difficult thing to do. Seriously hard. Not because you are hung up on the person or situation but the thought of “what next?”. The questions and reality of having to ‘deal’ with the absence of what you maybe once loved, gave energy to, was once fulfilling and somewhat a comfort. This is where most get stuck in my opinion. Self-doubt seeps in with anxiety’s claws clasping onto you, wanting to pull you back into what you're trying to let go of. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing and the comfort of certainty whether positive or negative, knowing exactly what to expect can keep you hostage in situations you no longer belong.
What I’ve realized in my short-long life is that it takes practice. You have to make a conscious decision rid yourself of anything or anyone that no longer serves you; toxic things, people, spaces, habits (not making light of addiction). We hold on to feelings of regret, guilt, loss, betrayal and a love that kills. Change is not easy, it takes practice and sometimes a few false starts. The fear of the aftermath can keep us prisoner to some questionable decisions. We stay stuck in situations that end up draining and in some cases killing us. Wrapped up in “abantu bazothini?”, (what will people say?). The need to be in control also plays a huge part in holding on. We have even come up with phrases such as “better the devil you know”. That somewhat you know what to expect and that gives you a level of control over the situation, person or yourself. What kind of mess is this? We order the same food at the same restaurant each time we go there all in the spirit of familiarity, how boring. Some of us even believe and preach 'holding on' as a signifier of strength and never flip the idea on its head, that wait a minute, there is power in letting go and moving on. We hold ourselves back and rob ourselves of a full life we could have been living, all because we cannot move on. We carry with us all our past failures, hardships and even past successes that do not springboard us. I stumbled on this quote by Najwa Zebian, "These mountains you carry, you were supposed to climb"
We need to consciously train ourselves to let go. Letting go of even the things that we love but are certainly not good for us. Letting go of ideas and teachings that 'society' live by, but are limiting and do not serve us well. Self-awareness is important. Not many of us spend time getting to truly know and understand ourselves. Getting our priorities in order, having clarity on deal breakers and setting boundaries up front. Identifying our “non-negotiables” and most importantly immerse ourselves in what we truly love and enjoy. Leaving little room for the things that drain us. I know this is an oversimplification, that people and life are much more complicated. However, there are complications we choose to submerge ourselves and bask in knowingly.
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