Dusty Runway

Pursuing perfection, this elusive, seductive idea that convinces you, makes you believe you're close but never quite get there, never good enough, this ever-moving target. We've heard the saying, "We are born to be happy and not perfect" I despise this phrase, I loathe it! Not because happiness is not a priority. This phrase sits in a weird area of my brain. Where all the things that make absolute sense when processed slowly are but the brain refuses to grasp. The thing is, no matter how many times you hear these phrases and they resonate, a part of you will always rationalise why that saying is for others and not you. That the person who makes up these phrases must be lazy, lacks ambition and must relish mediocrity. If you have never thought of it like that, I have. Seeking perfection has left me self-deprecating and not in a cute way, in the real sense of the phrase. It has started conversations with self that belittle, undermine and disregard my achieve...

Taking the time to figure out who you are is important, most of us exist never bothering to truly “self define”. We use cues from our surroundings, messages, and hints from friends and family about who we are and who we ought to be. We never bother to consider alternatives of who we could be or consider that maybe, just maybe, the cues we have at our disposal are limited and could limit our own 'self-view' and how we go through life. If I were born elsewhere in the world would I believe this is the right way to exist and interact with the world? We just do, accept and repeat patterns set before us for others to do the same after us. We question those that dare to do differently and even project our own insecurities making us “haters”,  all because of our limited world view and limited “viable opportunities”. We question others strides and then proceed to belittle them so that our little minds can deal with the fact that we might just be “losers” when in fact we did not app...

Letting go of stuff, environments and people that no longer serve you can be a difficult thing to do. Seriously hard. Not because you are hung up on the person or situation but the thought of “what next?”. The questions and reality of having to ‘deal’ with the absence of what you maybe once loved, gave energy to, was once fulfilling and somewhat a comfort. This is where most get stuck in my opinion. Self-doubt seeps in with anxiety’s claws clasping onto you, wanting to pull you back into what you're trying to let go of. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing and the comfort of certainty whether positive or negative, knowing exactly what to expect can keep you hostage in situations you no longer belong. What I’ve realized in my short-long life is that it takes practice. You have to make a conscious decision rid yourself of anything or anyone that no longer serves you; toxic things, people, spaces, habits (not making light of addiction). We hold on to feelings of regret, guil...

There comes a time I believe in one's life where you know exactly what you need and want, a time when without a shadow of a doubt you can clearly articulate what you want to pursue, what you want to achieve and what spaces you want to exist in.  The thing is, this magic does not come at the same time for all of us, there are no buttons you can press to kick off 'my purpose alive' programme, this can be frustrating if you have never been intentional about figuring it out. A lot of emphases has been placed on doing what you love, the problem starts when you have absolutely no idea as to how to get it or when the pursuit seems an impossible journey to start. These are the times where one has to dig deep (like the idols judges say) honestly though, it is looking into a place in yourself that you have never really bothered going before and assessing your strengths, converting your weaknesses. Listen to that inner voice that has been trying to get your attention, truly interrog...

Before we find what we are about on earth. I am sure that we have heard, read or watched tons of videos, listened to a gazillion of messages that compel you to explore what it is you truly about, what your purpose is and why you are here. You would think that all the wisdom of the world would make it easier for us to navigate this life maze and hit the mark. However, it is not always that easy. Some of us do not get it that instantly, no matter how many times the 'universe' taps you on your shoulder or the opportunity presents itself. Sometimes there is more that holds you back from pursuing what it is you are meant to be doing and sometimes just plain excuses or pure laziness. Financial, social, family, 'black tax' whatever your responsibilities are factors that can keep you from pursuing your real life purpose. The thing that makes you excited and looking forward to waking up the next day, doing that thing over and over again. We cannot deny that at times...

  U nderstanding that “I am human and nothing human can be foreign to me”, has been those subjects I fathom momentarily but as soon as I step out of class it seems to have gone in one ear and out the other ear. It is just so easy to judge others, there's a devilish satisfaction that comes with it. Whether it comes from a place of fear, insecurities and just socialisation.    Uttering the words "Do not judge but try to understand why someone would do what they've done" is easier said than done. With everything that happens on a micro scale (within families, friends, lovers) and on a macro scale (politically, socially, economically, etc). It is easy to judge without trying to empathize with the ‘culprit’. It is easy to post on FB, Re-Tweet, blog about and discuss with aversion, “How could she/he/they” then dissociatively ask “who does that to another person”. Maya Angelou once quoted the statement  “Homo sum: humani nil a me alienum puto” by Terence which ...

"To create an expression is close to innocence. Childhood is stolen from you with every judgment made, innocence stolen with it. You go into a room alone and try to collect the pieces of your life and meet your monster. Everyone has a monster that hunts them—monsters inside and outside. I have fought monsters. And have turned into a complete monster in the midst of the fight." Kanye West

W e spend much time defining ourselves by the things we dislike instead of the things we love, things that nourish our souls and give life to authentic smiles. I had never thought of it like that before one of my bosses pointed it out in conversation. I had an 'AHA-moment', then I thought about all the times I openly shared what I loathed about certain TV shows, musicians and other subjects that I would rather be dead than caught watching, listening or interacting with. This kind of loathing is ego-driven. It says I am better than you and you have poor taste instead of, "These are the things that make me and this is what I enjoy".  It got me thinking of the negativity we unconsciously put into the world. We are quick to disassociate with certain things but never quite share what we want to be associated with. We go around dismissing and snubbing certain things and people because we are "above it or them" far superior to being leagued with 'th...

Dear Life, why do some things have to be so ambiguous? Really, why? I do not understand, it is much more easier to deal with black or white, grey areas can be quite lead like for my precious soul to handle, and more so because grey areas are the human emotions or a reflection of their black or their white.  A glass half full versus half empty. Depending on convenience or how complex we make the situation to be in our own brain. We either add a dash of black to our white and work ourselves up unnecessarily or white to our black to cushion life’s blows.  Not everything is ever that simple, there are layers upon layers to some situations but there are instances where we end up in grey areas because we over complicate or at times attempt to over simplify things. Nothing is wrong with grey areas it is a good middle ground, really sucks though if one gets hung up in the grey area so much that one ends up stuck in a rut.  Sometimes all it takes is removing one's se...

L earning is a lifelong commitment and I have learned to find a lesson in every situation that I go through, whether good or bad, there's always a lesson if not an assurance of a lesson already learnt. Lessons are not always, "let's all sing along and dance, nursery style" sometimes they are the kind that just makes you want to throw in the towel and move on to the next thing and some make you question "Why me... why do things happen the way they do..." and you find yourself wanting to leave class before getting to the answers. Others just take way too long, leaving you to ask "how much longer  do I have to go through this... how long till..when is my time coming" whatever the question the lesson is sometimes done, and all that is left to do is to open your eyes and ears and admit and accept certain things either about yourself, someone else or a situation. Let's face it, at times you find yourself in classes you did not sign up for, l...

You should date an illiterate girl -Charles Warnke Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her. Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale or the ev...

T hat kind of love the one that makes you wonder if it is humanly possible to love another beyond words can express so high up the heavens seem to close, so wide the world is not enough to contain it. The kind that overflows, the simple kind, the 'I don't care who says what kind of love' the kind that you just have to look in the eyes of the other to feel, the kind that lives in a simple touch. It is a different kind of love not based on any conditions or expectations just that the other person is there everyday all they have to do is wake up and that is enough. The kind of love a parent has for his or her child, the kind a shared by young lovers who've just found each other, the kind shared by a matured couple who have come to understand, appreciate each other and come to love more as the years go by, the kind shared by siblings and the kind shared between friends. It is the 'catch you smiling by yourself' when you think of the other person kind. The...

image from Matthew Stumpy  @gurustump.com There's a slight obsession with being "busy" and occupied these days, the idea of being up to something even when it is nothing at all makes one feel significant as though they are contributing to green peace or a worthy cause. Okay, maybe not that, but still, everyone is a hustler or a diva, dabbling in this and that all fingers and toes dipped in different pots. Social networks bios are testament to this, they read like entries into a contest which aims to crown someone with the most interesting titles and, and, and. It reminds me of primary school where our oral exams were about how our holidays went and boasting to each other of who had more fun and experienced the coolest activities, only this time it is grown folk going on about which pie/s their fingers have been in, some true and some pure fabrications. According to www.thefreedictionary.com "busy" means 1. Engaged in activity, 2. Sustaining much act...

Pink Thursdays sounds like one of those popular nights hosted by a club on a Thursday, but no this one is not one of those. What it is, is a ladies only event centred on an evening of networking with some of South Africa’s most prominent women. In the words of event organiser, Tumi Vorster, “Pink Thursday is a brand new movement in Jo’burg that gives young ladies the platform to network with some of the well known names and faces in the various career fields in a fun, fabulous and engaging manner”. This one featured Claire Mawisa (who's also on this month's Destiny conver), Tansey Coetzee (Former Miss SA). The guests give a talk, then they have one on one Q & A mini sessions with the girls..then the stage is open for anyone who owns/or part  a business or an organisation to share what they do and what not.. (sell your business in a few words). And yes I was there. The event tak...

Image reblogged from  http://www.wolfandwillowblog.com/2010/01/fashion-fancies-romantic-ruffles.html “Clothes don’t make a man, but clothes have got many a man a good job. ”   Herbert Harold Vreeland

"Cuz HE! ain't no different from you N SHE ! ain't no different from me So WE! got to live out our dreams Like the people on TV"