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Showing posts with the label lessons

How To Live Your Life.

When we are younger it is easy to dream, to declare boldly who or what we will be once we grow up. For some reason growing up is a destination, a point in your life when the music starts playing and at that moment you are grown. This narrative leaves little room for diversions, life's setbacks and realities of hardcore living. You are expected to turn the switch on, get your life together at once, explicit or implied you too feel the pressure.  We follow the standards and expectations of society, of who we are supposed to be, what now, what next? We must step in line or automatically become the Blacksheep, the problem child who is now the problem adult. The reason for family or friends interventions disguised as concern for you when sometimes it is the egos of the people you are 'embarrassing'.  We strive to do more, be more and compare our journeys to others. Look at our peers who are seemingly thriving, doing much better than we are. We ask; Why am I not the...

#GETOUTOFYOURLANE

Taking the time to figure out who you are is important, most of us exist never bothering to truly “self define”. We use cues from our surroundings, messages, and hints from friends and family about who we are and who we ought to be. We never bother to consider alternatives of who we could be or consider that maybe, just maybe, the cues we have at our disposal are limited and could limit our own 'self-view' and how we go through life. If I were born elsewhere in the world would I believe this is the right way to exist and interact with the world? We just do, accept and repeat patterns set before us for others to do the same after us. We question those that dare to do differently and even project our own insecurities making us “haters”,  all because of our limited world view and limited “viable opportunities”. We question others strides and then proceed to belittle them so that our little minds can deal with the fact that we might just be “losers” when in fact we did not app...

Dream on and live on... Purpose

There comes a time I believe in one's life where you know exactly what you need and want, a time when without a shadow of a doubt you can clearly articulate what you want to pursue, what you want to achieve and what spaces you want to exist in.  The thing is, this magic does not come at the same time for all of us, there are no buttons you can press to kick off 'my purpose alive' programme, this can be frustrating if you have never been intentional about figuring it out. A lot of emphases has been placed on doing what you love, the problem starts when you have absolutely no idea as to how to get it or when the pursuit seems an impossible journey to start. These are the times where one has to dig deep (like the idols judges say) honestly though, it is looking into a place in yourself that you have never really bothered going before and assessing your strengths, converting your weaknesses. Listen to that inner voice that has been trying to get your attention, truly interrog...

JOINING THE DOTS...

Before we find what we are about on earth. I am sure that we have heard, read or watched tons of videos, listened to a gazillion of messages that compel you to explore what it is you truly about, what your purpose is and why you are here. You would think that all the wisdom of the world would make it easier for us to navigate this life maze and hit the mark. However, it is not always that easy. Some of us do not get it that instantly, no matter how many times the 'universe' taps you on your shoulder or the opportunity presents itself. Sometimes there is more that holds you back from pursuing what it is you are meant to be doing and sometimes just plain excuses or pure laziness. Financial, social, family, 'black tax' whatever your responsibilities are factors that can keep you from pursuing your real life purpose. The thing that makes you excited and looking forward to waking up the next day, doing that thing over and over again. We cannot deny that at times...

I AM HUMAN AND NOTHING HUMAN CAN BE FOREIGN TO ME

  U nderstanding that “I am human and nothing human can be foreign to me”, has been those subjects I fathom momentarily but as soon as I step out of class it seems to have gone in one ear and out the other ear. It is just so easy to judge others, there's a devilish satisfaction that comes with it. Whether it comes from a place of fear, insecurities and just socialisation.    Uttering the words "Do not judge but try to understand why someone would do what they've done" is easier said than done. With everything that happens on a micro scale (within families, friends, lovers) and on a macro scale (politically, socially, economically, etc). It is easy to judge without trying to empathize with the ‘culprit’. It is easy to post on FB, Re-Tweet, blog about and discuss with aversion, “How could she/he/they” then dissociatively ask “who does that to another person”. Maya Angelou once quoted the statement  “Homo sum: humani nil a me alienum puto” by Terence which ...

DEFINE YOURSELF BY WHAT YOU LOVE

W e spend much time defining ourselves by the things we dislike instead of the things we love, things that nourish our souls and give life to authentic smiles. I had never thought of it like that before one of my bosses pointed it out in conversation. I had an 'AHA-moment', then I thought about all the times I openly shared what I loathed about certain TV shows, musicians and other subjects that I would rather be dead than caught watching, listening or interacting with. This kind of loathing is ego-driven. It says I am better than you and you have poor taste instead of, "These are the things that make me and this is what I enjoy".  It got me thinking of the negativity we unconsciously put into the world. We are quick to disassociate with certain things but never quite share what we want to be associated with. We go around dismissing and snubbing certain things and people because we are "above it or them" far superior to being leagued with 'th...

THE GREY AREA

Dear Life, why do some things have to be so ambiguous? Really, why? I do not understand, it is much more easier to deal with black or white, grey areas can be quite lead like for my precious soul to handle, and more so because grey areas are the human emotions or a reflection of their black or their white.  A glass half full versus half empty. Depending on convenience or how complex we make the situation to be in our own brain. We either add a dash of black to our white and work ourselves up unnecessarily or white to our black to cushion life’s blows.  Not everything is ever that simple, there are layers upon layers to some situations but there are instances where we end up in grey areas because we over complicate or at times attempt to over simplify things. Nothing is wrong with grey areas it is a good middle ground, really sucks though if one gets hung up in the grey area so much that one ends up stuck in a rut.  Sometimes all it takes is removing one's se...

LIFE LESSONS

L earning is a lifelong commitment and I have learned to find a lesson in every situation that I go through, whether good or bad, there's always a lesson if not an assurance of a lesson already learnt. Lessons are not always, "let's all sing along and dance, nursery style" sometimes they are the kind that just makes you want to throw in the towel and move on to the next thing and some make you question "Why me... why do things happen the way they do..." and you find yourself wanting to leave class before getting to the answers. Others just take way too long, leaving you to ask "how much longer  do I have to go through this... how long till..when is my time coming" whatever the question the lesson is sometimes done, and all that is left to do is to open your eyes and ears and admit and accept certain things either about yourself, someone else or a situation. Let's face it, at times you find yourself in classes you did not sign up for, l...

You should date an illiterate girl

You should date an illiterate girl -Charles Warnke Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her. Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale or the ev...
"Cuz HE! ain't no different from you N SHE ! ain't no different from me So WE! got to live out our dreams Like the people on TV"