How To Live Your Life.

When we are younger it is easy to dream, to declare boldly who or what we will be once we grow up. For some reason growing up is a destination, a point in your life when the music starts playing and at that moment you are grown. This narrative leaves little room for diversions, life's setbacks and realities of hardcore living. You are expected to turn the switch on, get your life together at once, explicit or implied you too feel the pressure. 

We follow the standards and expectations of society, of who we are supposed to be, what now, what next? We must step in line or automatically become the Blacksheep, the problem child who is now the problem adult. The reason for family or friends interventions disguised as concern for you when sometimes it is the egos of the people you are 'embarrassing'. 

We strive to do more, be more and compare our journeys to others. Look at our peers who are seemingly thriving, doing much better than we are. We ask; Why am I not there, why is no one calling me, why is my business not growing, when is my promotion? Social media exacerbates these feelings. Everyone appears to be living their best lives but you, even though you know that may not be true but at that moment that is your reality. These anxieties, self-doubt in your capabilities and purpose will have you questioning your entire existence. Slowly chips away at your efforts making them insignificant. "Ontanga bakho' (your peers) the standing barometer of which your life will be measured up against. 

Why do we forget or fail to realize that our journeys are different, that "not all who wander are lost". Why do we live bound by milestones set for us, by twenty-five I should have a career, married at twenty-seven, by thirty have at least two children and a dog, living in a house I purchased, driving x, the list goes on. Why do we continue to define success using signifiers or goalposts set by people like you and me? 

HOW DO WE DO BETTER? 

Ask yourself meaningful questions that can help you create an authentic life experience for yourself.

1. Only compare yourself to yourself.

Our starting points and journeys are different. Look at your own life and celebrate your milestones, cultivate a life of gratitude. Life is better when you choose to see how far you have come, it gives you the fuel you need to keep moving.

2. There is no one size fits all.

There is no one way of being successful, assess, define what that looks like to you. For some it is having more than enough, not wanting for material things. There is more to success than material gain. Take a holistic approach. 

3. Work for it and do not give up.

If you want to achieve anything you must be willing to roll up your sleeves and put in the work, have the resilience to see it through. Keep going and firing at all cylinders. Nothing worth having comes easy. 

Just live your life, do your best and have gratitude.